Tris Das Squishy’s Written Word

I was originally posting the following link due to my interest in the subject, but now I am posting for a different reason. http://blogs.zdnet.com/igeneration/?p=670

To anyone who has poo-pooed my insistence of the use of proper English or grammar, told me I made their head hurt, or "semantics"ed me: this is why we need to fucking learn our own language.

This writer may be intelligent; he may even be brilliant. We can't tell because he can't properly communicate a thought. He says "use firefox" so we know that the point of this article is that firefox is better than I.E., but there is no way to actually discern this from his article. This is mostly because he doesn't present his arguments in any clear order, but also because his use of English is criminal.

Let us look at a few passages.

"I’m well aware within recent findings; those reported on the ZDNet Zero Day blog, that Firefox is one of the most vulnerable applications for Windows, although it doesn’t say anywhere that the actual application is insecure."

What exactly is he saying here? There is not a complete sentence with any coherent meaning in more than 3 lines. The semi colon marks a break between two separate but related clauses. I had to read this several times to realize that he meant to use a comma. A simple typo, maybe. But even with the comma it is hard to understand because he bungled it up by leaving out "that" after aware. Thus, the sentence read that he was aware of something but constricted by boundaries, rather than that he was aware of something within a body of work. I was expecting something like "I am aware within my limited study of psychology that...xyz", although even this is sketchy at best. I understood it eventually, but the point of an essay or article should be to clearly convey information to the reader. If you can not do this, then you have failed.

I'll ignore his slangy colloquial phrases that cause me to cringe, since a blog is allowed to be chatty. However, I do wish to point out another section of the article.

"Rory Cellan-Jones, well known to those who watch the BBC News or follow the content on the BBC blogs/websites, explained this in lay-man terms. The current zero-day flaw (which means the exploit has been found before the security boffs, and has been used for bad things already) can have such an effect as to:

* exploit the computer in question, by giving the attacker the same access rights as the person currently using the computer;
* it is only spread via malicious websites, so providing you have an anti-virus and use Firefox (or another browser, but use Firefox), you should be relatively safe. Jones disagrees, as Firefox has vulnerabilities also, but…
* providing you’re not stupid and don’t visit porn, hacking, cracking, serials and key-gen websites, you should be alright."

Read that a few times. When you bullet things like that, the reader expects each bullet to follow directly from the sentence before the bullets began. In other words, each bullet can be read individually of the others. Clearly this is not the case. The grammar and syntax are painful, but you could probably make a coherent statement after cutting and pasting those useless bullets into sentences.

[the flaw] can have such an effect as to exploit the computer in question, by giving the attacker the same access rights as the person currently using the computer. However, it is only spread via malicious websites, so providing you have an anti-virus and use Firefox (or another browser, but use Firefox), you should be relatively safe. Jones disagrees, because Firefox also has vulnerabilities , but providing you’re not stupid and don’t visit porn, hacking, cracking, serials and key-gen websites, you should be alright.

(For the record, there was no computer brought into question by anything he said except for perhaps a tenuous link to the the computers that we presume the bad things have already happened to.)

The sentence is created is what his editors should have created, and it is sure as hell easier to read to matter how much of an unreasonable asshole you think I might be. I don't care how smart you are or how much you know about any difficult, esoteric, or arcane knowledge. It is all useless if you cannot form a sentence coherent enough to explain to someone what you have discovered. The purpose of language is to efficiently share information, and if we start giving a shit about our language, we will lose any semblance of efficiency that our society might have.

p.s. You will probably find punctuation, spelling, or grammar errors in my post. you are not cute for bringing them up in such a manner as to refute my argument. No one is perfect, and I don't expect anyone to be. Misspelling a word or missing a punctuation mark is one thing.

p.p.s. I'm not saying everyone should be able to write excellently, or even well. I'm saying people should care.

p.p.p.s I'm not "waving my hands", being an elitist, etc. I just feel like we need to stop looking down on learning, especially where the arts are concerned, and start making the ability to write something that a person can feel proud of. Also, stop it with the idea that anyone can be a writer. Not anyone can be a scientist, an artist, a lawyer, a doctor... you have to know how to do these things first. Likewise, not anyone can be a writer. You have to know how to write first.

The article can be found below, as well as above.

http://blogs.zdnet.com/igeneration/?p=670

I will post more reviews when I am not so busy dieing but for right now I just want to make a quick note.  I was listening to democracy now and heard this show in which the host interviewed Gore Vidal. I had never heard the man speak before, indeed I knew little about him, but there was such power in what he said, such bitterness, anger, disappointment, but also such passion.  I do not know how long each days show is up, but if anyone gets a chance listen to the show if you have never heard him speak.  Agree or disagree, the man is worth hearing.  I personally am going to look into more of what he has done.    

This is last weeks webcomic column.

This week, dear readers, I plan to discuss three comics that are all tangentially linked together in what I like to consider one giant universe of happiness.  The first of these comics is Queen of Wands, which is written and illustrated by a woman who goes by the name Aeire.  Loosely based on her life, QoW is about a young woman named Kestrel who lives with her best friends, Felix and Shannon.  They are a very odd household, but they seem to go well together.  Kestrel is kind and loving toward her friends, wrathful toward her enemies, and a magnet for kids.  This is unfortunate, for she does not like children.   Kestrel's adventures center around her failed romances, her jobs, and occasional involvement in the shenanigans of Felix and Shannon.  Her life is also complicated, often pleasantly, by her friend Angela. QoW ended in early '05, and thus is a completely finished storyline.  It is about Kestrel's personal growth,  the strangeness of relationships, what it means to accept change, and our fears of the future.  It is a touching story filled with humor, lovable characters, and touching moments, all culminating in a wonderful ending that will bring a tear to your eye.

Queen of Wands may end there, but the story does not.  Aeire started a new comic with Chris Daily of Striptease called Punch an' Pie.  Punch an' Pie takes place a few years after QoW and is about Angela, Kestrel's friend from QoW.  Angela is small, feisty, full of life, and has a child like sense of life not unlike Kestrel's.  While the main characters of QoW are not in Punch an' Pie, the characters from the old toy store (where Kestrel met Angela) are still around.  The story follows Angela and her girlfriend Heather as they deal with their jobs and their life together.  Punch an' Pie is only a little over a year old, so there is not too much to catch up with.  It takes a different attitude towards life than QoW but is definitely enjoyable.  Daily's art is very good and compliments Aeire's writing and characterizations.  There is much to look forward to from this comic.  

Finally, I shall end on something  extremely positive.  Early in QoW's storyline, there was a crossover with another webcomic called Something Positive (abbr. as S*P).  Somehow, the crossover stuck.  The events of the crossover continued to come back in QoW's storyline, and culminated in Aeire giving Kestrel to Randy K. Milholland, author of S*P, as a permanent character after her own comic ended.
   

S*P is on my list of the best webcomics that I have ever read.  It follows the life of Davan MacIntire (his name has “ire” right in it), his best friends Aubrey and Peejee, and a whole host of misfits that constitute their friends and less-than-friends.  Milholland's humor is dark, acidic, and sarcastic bordering on evil.  The humor is based on irony and schadenfreude, usually on the part of one character directed towards another.   Davan has terrible luck in relationships and his friends do little better.  Milholland has several storylines going on at any given time, taking place mostly in Boston and Texas, and updates five times a week.  Not content to simply be a gag comic, S*P has some of the greatest character development I have ever seen.  While deliciously vicious, it still deals with issues such as loss of loved ones, illness, friendship, and personal wellbeing.  It has been going steadily  for over seven years, so get ready for an amazing archive filled with hours of laughter and entertainment.
 

This is a recent Eros & Aphrodite that appeared in the argosy.  E&A is a sort of social gender and sex critique column done by a friend and me.  This is only my half, because her half belongs to her. 

If there was one sexual norm I could change it would be the utter fear of sex and the body that seems to permeate North American culture.  One can see it in so many contexts.  Think about the huge debate over breastfeeding in public, the continent wide hysteria that followed the Janet Jackson “event,” the shady way people seem to go about trying to obtain sex, and, worst of all, the existence of the word “vajayjay.”

It is easy to make fun of Ashcroft for his moment with the statue of justice, but how is he different than anyone else?  Most people cannot even say, with a straight face, the words penis or vagina.  Instead, most people use a slightly more vulgar term of their choosing, often unconsciously adding emphasis to the word or speeding it up a fraction of a beat.  This is, I believe, designed to offset the discomfort of referring to the genitals by making a sort of joke out of it.  Our discomfort level decreases when what discomfits us becomes something to snicker at.

Finally, there is the insane belief that somehow children are harmed by hearing references to genitals in any way that is not turned into a cute phrase or an inane euphemism.  This was used by a friend to justify the word vajayjay, whereby she claimed that it made sense because the show it appeared on was rated G (implication being kids will see it).  However, if the kid does not have actual knowledge of what a vagina is, he or she will still be left with questions that parents seem to be trying to avoid (because of their discomfort?).  On the other side, if the child already knows what a vagina is, is not the word just teaching them that the body is an object of scorn, ridicule, and discomfort?  The same argument goes for any euphemism for the penis, by the way.

I'm tired of our social phobia of sex and sex organs.  Through continued discussion and education, maybe some day things will change and the North American psyche will some day grow up.  Until then, I shall refer to the female genitals exclusively as the Pseudemys Concinna.  And yes, you should look that one up. 

My column in the argosy from March 6th.  Here is to hoping for and end to the chaos that currently saturates my life.

In a complete reversal from last week's comic, this week I am doing a comic that is silly, light, funny, and even cute.  The comic is called Dungeons & Denizens, and it was created by three people who go by the names Graveyard Greg, John Yakimow, and C. Wilson Trull.  Most people will immediately get the obvious Dungeons and Dragons reference, and those in the know will immediately see links to World of Warcraft and Everquest, plus perhaps some things I am not personally aware of.  Now, I want you to forget all that.  This comic has elements that tend to appeal to the “geek culture,” but even if that isn't your thing, do not let it fool you into thinking that this comic is anything but great.
The setting of Dungeons & Denizens is in fact a dungeon and the main characters are the traditional monsters one expects to see in a fantasy setting.  The comic is not, however, about telling the story from the monsters' point of view, which has been done by other comics.  Rather, the characters are the employees who are charged with maintaining the dungeon for use by parties of adventurers.  The main character, for example, is a Minotaur named Min who was recently hired as tech support for the dungeon.  The other main characters include an assortment of defective personalities attached to monstrous bodies and often dangerous powers.

Min is a bit of a naïf as the comic begins, enthusiastic to begin his job but not so good at staying out of trouble, usually in the form of his bosses practical jokes.  While he usually gets the “fuzzy end of the lollipop,” he begins to wizen up and give as good as he gets.  His boss is Gazdar, an archetypical ruff gruff boss with a heart of gold.  Sort of.  Besides the afore mentioned practical jokes, Gazdar has no problem dumping a burden on others with his somewhat creative problem solving.  Amongst the others are the undead dungeon manager with a hight complex, Litchvell, his surly teenage daughter who always miscasts spells, and a jealous gorgon.  Also, the landlord is a giant flaming demon.  The best of all the characters are Donna and Diana, the two headed fire breathing hellhound.  Calling them conjoined twins might me more appropriate, as each head has its own personality, as well as a crush on the same person.  Pity the poor man.  They alternate between having big cartoon eyes, giant maws filled with enormous teeth, and spitting fire at those who annoy them.  They are always cute, and will delight you, I promise.
 
The comic is recently back after a nine month hiatus.  The creators are regularly updating it now on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and there is a decent archive to go through.  While the site lacks certain features that webcomic readers might come to expect, such as character bios or even links, the comic more than makes up for it.  You really do not have to be a geek to enjoy this one, so go check it out at  www.dungeond.com/  

  

Check out this awesome song from Basshunter

14 minutes into a new year.  I know it means nothing but for a few solar calculations, but what the heck.  May the new year bring you all prosperity, in whatever way that means to you.     

I wrote this some time last year for my webcomic column.  I recently reread the strip and remembered why I love it so much.

Somewhere between marriage and raising his young son, Paul Taylor, of Minneapolis, still finds time to write and regularly update his comic, Wapsi Square.  Mr. Taylor updates five times a week, and doesn't miss a day, which is quite a rarity in the world of webcomics.
 
Wapsi Square is an archaeological whodunit.  The main character is Monica Villarreal, an art history and anthropology major working for the university museum, and her own antique shop.  While working at the museum, Monica accidentally releases Tepoztecal, the Aztec god of alcohol.  The weird takes a turn for the weirder when Tepoztecal summons into her life a chimera in the form of three drunken college girls.  Slowly a story unfolds in front of her involving the pasts of these “golem girls”, Tepoztecal, and Monica's friend, Shelly Wahnee. 

The story progresses slowly, and Mr. Taylor devotes a lot of time to character development.  Each character has their own story that is both separate and entwined with the main plot.  Monica is my favorite character.  She is cute and a little naïve, but intelligent, a dedicated friend, and easygoing.  One of the most memorable moments in the comic comes from her walking into a dangerous looking bikers joint, and becoming friends with everyone there because her grandfather was some kind of Harley legend.  The only character more lovable than Monica is her dog, Dietzel.

The story can often be cute, and sometimes funny.  However, it is not all fun and games.  The three golem girls that make up the chimera are very powerful and something terrible happened to create them.  Should they remember, they may massacre everything surrounding them.  Add an evil spirit that seems to be trying to twist their emotions, and the strip can actually get quite creepy.
 
When I looked back at the beginning of the strip, I realized I had forgotten how long it has been going.  There is plenty of back reading, and Mr. Taylor's art goes through some interesting changes along the way.  Wapsi Square is best suited for readers who are looking for a character centered plot line.  The humor is subtle, but a dedicated reader will find it there, hiding within a compelling story.  Anyone who starts this will be hooked, I promise.  Everyone, go read Wapsi Square, support Paul Taylor, and enjoy his wonderful story.  http://www.wapsisquare.com/index.html 

My column from two weeks ago.  Thanks to my buddy Motoma for introducing me to this comic.

I have always regretted that, while I write for a Canadian paper, I rarely manage to write about Canadian comics.  Therefore, it is with great joy that I present Butternut Squash, though in truth the location really has little to do with the comic at all.  However, all things being equal, readers get to see people pay for coffee with Canadian money!

It is hard to put a finger on what I love about BNS.  It does not feature an intense storyline, deep characters, or anything approaching insight.  BNS is, frankly, fun and shenanigans.  The comic seems semi biographical, and the main characters, Ramon and Rob, are the artist and writer respectively.  In addition is their friend Vince and his dog Cola, their friend Even who describes himself as a “sweet little Jewish boy from South Africa” and a “Brooklyn bad boy at hear,” and their friend Krista. 

BNS is a comic of charming yet sophomoric humor.  It has more than its share of jokes about sex, or lack thereof, picking up, drinking, and flirting with cute women at the coffee shop.  A popular source of humor is Brunhilda.  I won't say much about her except that she is so tall she never appears completely in any single panel.  Other sources of humor are Ramon's obsession with masturbation, Rob's love of bacon, and the calling into question of the sexuality of various characters in various situations.

I might be considered hypocritical for for endorsing BNS after savaging Schweppes and Justin last year for some of the same themes.  It is true that Butternut Squash is not a comic for everyone.  The easily offended will find their attitudes disgusting and, in some cases, downright sexist.  Their friend Krista, for instance, wanted to be bumped to the head of the list of real life friends appearing in the comic, and it is suggested the price of this was a blow job (though I doubt it went down like that in real life).  What I believe is her next appearance is her drunkenly flashing one of the characters.  Despite this  BNS has redeeming value.  The characters may be obsessed with sex but they are presented as generally defective human beings.  Because of this, it is hard to take things they say seriously.  As long as you don't mind a little stupid guy humor, BNS will have you in happy fits of giggles.  So check it out at http://www.butternutsquash.net/